Fair warning, DO NOT read this unless you have a strong stomach.  Some of the side effects of this surgery are sorta gross!

1. Blood Thinner Shots.  Two a day for ten days post op.  Not all surgeons require this, but mine does.  Either I’m giving myself these shots or the Hubs is.  Freaked me out at first, but the needle is so incredibly small that you don’t even feel it.  The worst part is getting over your own fear that you’re putting a needle in your body.
2. Opps Notta Fart.  You can click the link to read Amy’s post from a few years ago.  She had the Lap Band, but let me tell you the results can happen with any stomach surgery.  I too have learned to never trust a fart.  You have a TON of gas in your body after surgery.  I’ve been lucky that it hasn’t caused me any pain, and until I started getting in more than just water and protein jello, it really was just toots (FYI-Non smelly ones, just loud and air.)  Well now that I’m getting protein shakes in, well let’s just say, liquids in liquids out.  I wore a pad, but a little further back to protect myself just in case.  It didnt last that long luckily, only a couple of days.  Prepare yourself for this!  Also wiping might not be super easy, so a long pair of tongs with toilet paper might be helpful.  Note to self, buy new tongs for the grill.
3. Showering is tough, and perhaps if I hadn’t torn my muscle I wouldn’t have needed help, but since I did, I’m lucky that the Hubs can help me.  In the hospital the nurses will offer to help you.  LET THEM.  They have seen bariatric patients every day and they seriously couldn’t care what you look like.  You’ll feel human again AND they are very helpful.  Invest in some baby wipes so that you don’t have to shower as often.  They are fantastic at at least cleaning you up a bit.  Speaking of bathing, also make sure you have a non-skid mat in your shower.  You don’t want to slip!  This is sort of like having a baby, all sense of modesty flies out the door.
4. On Q Pain Pump.  Not every doctor does this, mine does.  I have this TINY tube running out of my stomach.  The tube is connected to a ball of narcotic pain meds (one of the Caine’s.)  It puts a consistent amount of numbing agents on your stomach.  Since I have no experience without this, I cant say if it’s good or bad, but since my actual stomach hasn’t felt much pain, I’m thinking it’s a good thing.
5. Giving up control.  I am someone who is very used to taking care of everyone else.  I’ve had to give that up to allow me to heal.  It’s amazing, the world DOESN’T fall apart when you aren’t there to run the show.  The people who love you are going to be there and take care of you.
6. Gurgle.  I’ve lucked out, drinking doesn’t hurt me.  It is entirely strange though!  You take a sip of water and can hear it gurgling down into your tummy.  I take another sip once the gurgling stops.
7. Catheter.  This is something else not every surgeon does, but mine happens to.  At first I was convinced that I wanted it removed before I came out of surgery, but once of the nurses told me why to keep it in.  If you have it taken out you have to get up to pee every 30 minutes or so because you’re so full of IV fluids.  Leave it in, trust me it DOESN’T hurt when they remove it.  It let’s you stay in bed and heal, which is 100% of what your job is post op.
8. Use your words.  It’s so important to let the doctors and nurses know exactly what is going on with you.  If something feels strange or not right, tell them.  You also want to stay ahead of your pain.  Don’t wait until you’re suffering to say something.  It’s much easier to prevent pain than it is to relieve it.
9. At home.  Seriously consider where and how you are going to sleep once you get home.  Things that are too soft are hard to get out of.  Beds can be too high or too low, so practice getting up and down from where you think you will sleep without using your stomach muscles.  Place something near the toilet that you can use to stable yourself while getting up and down.  Find a pair of really long tongs or one of these contraptions, when your pants fall down or underwear fall to the floor, you cant just bend over to pick them up.
10. LISTEN.  Listen to your surgeon, nurses and nutritionists.  As crazy as the things they tell you might sound.  They’ve done this before.  You don’t want to be one of the patients that my surgeon recently had to save the life of because she ate steak on day two post op.  Take the meds they tell you to take, drink the water, get in the protein, just do it.  If you’ve chosen a good team, they know what they are doing.
11. Take your time.  Even though 24 hours ago you were able to do everything, you just can’t right now, and you won’t be able to for a few days or weeks.  Just be patient with yourself.  You’re probably going to cry some, from exhaustion, from pain, from frustration.  I have several times.  Sometimes you just don’t know what you need.  Your support system is there to help you, and sometimes you just have to let them know that you just don’t know what you need to feel more comfortable.  Be patient with each other, you will work through it.
12. Hunger.  I have absolutely NO hunger.  We have reminders set on our phones to remind us when to give me my pain meds, my vitamin supplements, my protein shakes, etc.  I’m back to tracking everything in LoseIt! including my water intake, so that I can be sure that I’m getting in the right amount of liquids each day.

I hope this helps someone!  There’s more I’m sure, but this is all I can think of right now.